


Alien teasing

by TimeLordOfManyNames



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Humor, M/M, Oral Sex, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 08:05:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3970306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimeLordOfManyNames/pseuds/TimeLordOfManyNames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Comparing something with a friend from another planet may turn out quite unpredictable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alien teasing

Archer was drunk. It was as clear as Porthos ever could be after a good bath. The fact that Shran was at the same grade of the informal condition or so undoubtedly added some scent of almost licentious relaxedness to the whole situation.

Long time no see. A bunch of memories to share. And a couple of bottles of seasoned andorian ale just happening to be around.

"You know what, Archer?" Shran seemed resolute to say something.

"Jonathan," objected the captain.

"What?"

"Come on, we know each other long enough," he smiled blandly while moving unsteadily towards the desk, "you may call me Jonathan."

Shran shook his head with an uncertain expression on his face.

"Well, alright... Jona-tha-n."

Archer laughed at his attempt. Shran's antennae twitched angrily — he seemed ready to start some kind of a fight toward this insulting snicker, but eventually changed his mind and snorted.

"I wonder, how you, humans, are living without antennae," he smirked and lowered his voice to some kind of a mocking whisper. "After all, how can you manage to tease each other if you are unable to compare them."

Archer poured himself another glass of ale and gave his interlocutor a saucy glance.

"We are comparing other things."

"For example? Your ships?" the andorian chuckled provokingly.

"Not exactly, but them too, I suppose. At least sometimes," his lips twisted.

"So?" Shran raised his eyebrows inquiringly. "Is there something we could compare to humiliate you, _captain?"_

"We are different species, _commander."_ Archer grinned back, took a gulp and put the empty glass on the desk. "But — if you're insisting — in such cases, humans tend to compare their genitals."

Shran seemed surprised and rather perplexed.

"Do you really?"

"Well, not me, practically, but some, yes."

The andorian grinned broadly.

"So, let's start."

Archer's eyes widened.

"Are you serious?"

"Quite serious," Shran began to unfasten his trousers.

The captain chuckled. "I'm drunk, but not to the condition—"

"So, you're afraid that you lose?" the andorian gave him a smug smile. "Well, your cowardice is explainable — you are going to lose anyway."

Archer stared at him indignantly, then narrowed his eyes and started to unfasten too. Shran grinned again. His penis was now shown up — very much similar to antennae on his head in shape and mobility. He looked at the captain's soft and flaccid organ that seemed quite pathetic and vulnerable and chuckled.

"I wonder how are you ever able to use such a thing."

His own thing was meanwhile moving as firmly as though actually manifesting its victory.

"Believe me, it's quite different when aroused," Archer smirked, self-confident.

"Aroused? What do you mean by that?" Shran seemed perplexed again.

"When a man is _er..."_ he shifted his head slightly to the side, _"excited,_ you know, his _thing_ grows in size and becomes as hard as iron."

Archer filled their glasses again, ready to drink.

_"Show me."_

The captain nearly dropped the bottle.

"Wait, _what?"_

"I don't want you to consider my victory doubtful just because of the difference between our species," Shran snorted, looking annoyed by this thought.

"Until now it resembled kind of a childhood adventure, but—"

"Well, what do you need to get excited?"

Archer shifted unsteadily from one foot to the other, obviously confused.

"That sounds odd, you know."

"Rubbish! I want to see this thing aroused or I claim that you invented the whole story!" his voice half step away from anger.

Archer laughed. "Come on, you can't be serious!"

Shran frowned the way the drunk mate could frown. "You doubt my confidence?"

"Er, no."

"Well?" he raised his eyebrows expressively.

The captain felt uneasy and took another sip from his glass.

"It should be stroked with a hand or... a mouth," if it wasn't about ale, he would definitely blush by saying such things aloud. "Something like that."

The andorian gave a stare at the Archer's organ that seemed slightly different in looks than before.

_"Do it."_

"No way." He shook his head.

"So, you admit that you lied."

"No, I simply won't do it."

Shran exhaled fretfully, his antennae twitched. "Fine. Then I'll do it."

Archer started back a little at his approach.

"That sounds even odder, don't you think?"

He was willing to add something else, but the andorian reached out and clenched his fingers firmly around his dick, causing a gasp. It was somewhat interested after all this alcohol and what should be considered dirty talks, so the touch provoked a slight increase, barely visible, but tangible.

"How curious," said Shran, letting his fingers go up and down this strange part of the human body.

"That's wrong," murmured the captain in a suppressed voice.

"Am I doing wrong?" asked the andorian, uncertain, then gulped the rest of his ale and kneeled in a flash, taking it in his mouth.

Archer gasped again and leaned on the desk with both hands, shutting his lips tight. Shran moved slowly, tasting, studying, learning how it works. His tongue traced the outline, investigating every inch within licking distance. His human friend seemed glued to the spot as if he was doing something outrageous.

"Sh-ra-n..."

The andorian tore himself away for an instant. "Now I see that you were telling the truth."

He looked up at the Archer's face, his closed eyes and tightened lips, smirked and took him again. His dick grew longer, thicker and harder — as Shran was told. He could feel it increasing right in his mouth, and it was quite an indescribable sensation. If he wasn't so much drunk, he might think about his actions from the different point, but he couldn't. Archer shuddered and emitted a muffled moan.

"Sh-shran, stop..."

He repeated it twice, but the andorian seemed too eager to know an exact point of the maximum size.

"I can restrain myself... no more..." He shuddered again, tilted his head back in some kind of a graceful bend and came.

It was unexpected for the one who caused it. He moved away and up, wiping his lips with a sleeve. The captain's dick was inexorably returning to its initial state. Shran looked at it compassionately.

_"And that's all?"_

Archer closed his eyes with his palm, promising himself never to drink so much again. The andorian chuckled victoriously.

"Well, Jona-than, now you should have no doubts about who won this time."


End file.
